Get Off
by Sugar Waffle
Summary: It wasn't even that nice of a chair. Implied Percy/Jason.


**Author's Note**: I saw a post in the pjoslash-headcanons tumblr that was basically about the boys fighting over the head table chair and Jason finally coming up with an, uh, interesting compromise. I liked the idea so much I had to write about it! If you're wondering about the progress of How to Annoy the Goddess of Love, I'm working on it. I just wanted to write something pointless and short. Gomen, and all that.

* * *

It was beginning to get ridiculous.

The first time it happened, everyone waved it off as a one time occurrence. When Percy and Jason both tried claiming the head chair, the air was so thick with tension that they probably could have choked Gaea with it and win the war that way. Nobody was surprised though; if you put two children of the Big Three together then there was bound to be some cock fighting. In fact, they were just relieved that Hazel wasn't as seasoned of a fighter as the two boys or else the _Argo II_ would have been screwed.

In any case, both Percy and Jason laughed it off. They gave up the seat to Annabeth because, honestly, she acted more like a leader for this particular quest than anyone else did. And then they all moved on.

Or not. The second time it happened was one morning during breakfast. Annabeth told them that she'd skip the meal since she had other things to do (and they all probably involved figuring out the Mark of Athena). So there was the head of the table—completely unoccupied and free to be taken. The others probably sensed that another scene was about to play because they all avoided the seat and took their usual spots around the table. Leo cracked a joke while Piper tried her best not to laugh at it. Frank absentmindedly nibbled at a piece of toast. Hazel pretended to listen to the satyr's lecture on how to properly beat people to death with a wooden baseball bat. It was business as usual.

Then Percy swept into the room, his hair in such a disarray that it was no question that he had just woken up. He said his good mornings and scrounged around for something to eat before settling for some cereal. While he was in the process of pouring milk into the bowl, Jason entered. The son of Jupiter gave Piper a quick kiss before going to settle into the nearest chair next to her. The chair that also happened to be the head of the table, as well as the chair that Percy was just about to plop down onto. The two teens collided, sending both themselves and cereal flying off into different directions. The bowl smacked Coach Hedge in the head, causing Hazel to let out a startled squeak. Percy somehow landed right on top of Jason, but from the way the latter was clutching at his groin it was not a comfortable position.

"Get off," Jason growled, although considering his voice was an octave higher than normal it didn't sound very threatening.

"Dude!" Percy protested. "My cereal!"

The other four demigods saw where this was going, and they all either got up to help calm the situation or quietly exchanged bets. Piper hurried to pull the son of Poseidon off her boyfriend, who was definitely starting to give off sparks. And the last thing they needed was another fire igniting (Leo insisted that it wasn't his fault and Frank still refused to sit next to him). Percy, however, was very adamant about staying on top of the blond. He was clearly annoyed, and the sink was beginning to rumble in a way that spelled disaster in at least five languages.

"A little help here?" Piper said, putting a little charmspeak into her voice to get the others to join in. All together, they yanked Percy off Jason before either of them created a hurricane on the dining room table.

Sadly, that wasn't enough to defuse the situation. Jason stood up, albeit unsteadily, and the air around him began to crackle with electricity. His hand was edging towards to where he usually kept his sword, but thankfully he appeared to have left it somewhere else. Percy, though, always had Riptide on him because of the whole pen thing. For a horrifying moment it looked as if an actual fight was about to break out when Annabeth casually strolled into the room. Her eyes widened in shock when she saw what was happening, and then they narrowed.

"What's going on?" she demanded, her hands on her hips.

Percy instantly snapped out of whatever macho fueled trance he was in. He flicked a stray Fruit Loop off of his arm and walked over to his girlfriend. Looping an arm over her shoulder, he beamed at the mess. "Nothing! I dropped my bowl."

The look on his face pretty much screamed, _Please play along she is terrifying when she's mad._

Jason stood, and luckily it appeared that he managed to cool off as well. The expression he wore was a cross between mildly embarrassed and amused. "Yeah. Don't worry, we'll clean it up."

Annabeth didn't appear to believe it. She was probably used to Percy attempting to cover things up from her, and it wasn't really a secret that she didn't entirely like Jason. But when the others didn't say anything to the contrary, she just sighed and excused herself back to her room.

Coach Hedge groaned on the ground. Percy laughed and went to help him back up.

Everyone wrote that off as the last of the incidents. Or, at the very least, they hoped it would be. Percy's temper was quite famous in the mythological world, so the fact that he'd get riled up over such a tiny matter surprised no one. Jason, though, was usually pretty levelheaded. How easily Percy was able to get him to lose his cool would be impressive if it didn't always end with things almost exploding. But for the rest of the duration of the trip to Rome, nothing really happened besides the usual monster attacks and near death experiences. The two teenagers bumping heads was beginning to become just an amusing memory when it happened again.

They had just gotten past Hercules, and Jason was out of it. No one really blamed him for it; finding out that your older half-brother who was a living legend was _also_ a raging psychopath would kill anyone's mood. So when he sat down at the head of the table, no one said anything. Even Annabeth let it slide, although she did raise an eyebrow at the motion. The group chatted with one another, and Leo was just about to head to the engine room when Percy came in. Leo sat right back down.

If there was a word to describe Percy Jackson, it was stubborn. So when he saw Jason sitting in that spot—the spot that had been denied to both of them since day one—he couldn't help it. He marched right up to the guy and leaned down so they were both staring at each other. Behind them, the boys' respective girlfriends both began to stir in case they had to interfere again. Leo and Frank exchanged another round of money.

Percy and Jason stayed like that for a while, simply glaring at each other. For a moment it seemed like they were going to be in a standoff forever, but finally Jason moved. He leaned back into the chair, resting his head against his palm in such an overly confident manner that there was no denying the fact he was purposely egging Percy on now. Piper practically groaned at the gesture, but before she could step in the blond spoke.

"You really want this chair, huh?" he said.

Honestly? Percy could not care less about the chair. It wasn't even that comfortable! But he had pride, and that pride would not allow Jason to win the right to sit in that chair. Or it wouldn't let him sit in it before Percy got to. So he shrugged. "I dunno. Let me sit down so I can find out."

Jason nodded, and for a split second it seemed like he was going to actually get up and allow his fellow half-blood to take the seat. Everyone began to relax a little, but Jason never left. Instead he leaned forward so that his face was nearly brushing against Percy's. "We can share it then. Sit down."

The silence that followed his comment was so suffocating that if the tension from the original standoff didn't knock Gaea out, this one certainly would have. Piper let out an odd strangled sound, and Hazel blushed so fiercely it was as if she was the one asked to share a seat. Annabeth looked torn between laughing and being confused. But the reaction that took the cake was Percy's. He stared at Jason. And stared. And _stared_. In fact, he stared for so long that his friends were beginning to think that Jason had secretly shocked the guy and he short circuited. But after the lengthy pause, the dark haired teen snorted and unceremoniously sat down on Jason's lap.

The movement was so casual it was almost as if it was the most natural thing in the world for him. Percy leaned back so that his back was right up against Jason's chest, and he looked perfectly content with the whole setup. He even waved his fingers at Annabeth, who finally settled for laughing. Jason only grunted at the extra weight upon his lap. His body tensed up at the contact as if he wasn't actually expecting Percy to accept the offer—he wasn't—but he soon relaxed. He leaned his chin on top of Percy's shoulder, and the two began talking as if nothing out of the ordinary was occurring. The others had no choice but to go along with it.

When the strategy meeting finally ended, they all went their separate ways. Piper got up to leave, but then turned to face the two boys who still occupied the chair. "Uh, aren't you coming?"

"Nah, we're good," Percy said a little too cheerfully, which didn't appear to convince her. But the daughter of Aphrodite finally shrugged and left the dining room with the others. Once they were alone, Percy turned his head slightly so he could see Jason from the corner of his eye. "I'm pretty sure the actual chair would be more comfortable than this."

"Shut up," Jason muttered. He had managed to keep his composure when they had company, but now that they were alone his face was burning red. He almost wanted to run back to Hercules and let the god kill him.

"Seriously," Percy continued, "you're poking me pretty hard there."

"I swear I'm going to poke you with my sword if you don't get off of me."

Yet when Percy didn't, Jason didn't complain.


End file.
